Phew - now on to the next one - but first . . .

I must apologise for being totally and utterly slack about my blog. What with interviews etc for 'Marrying Out of Money' I just haven't had the time. Plus, my fellow Prospera stable mate Naina Gupta has a new blog out and is already putting me to shame. http://naina-g.blogspot.com/ Not to mention Talli Roland, who blogs everyday religiously and with a finesse I could never hope to achieve unless extreme makeovers knocks at my door. http://talliroland.blogspot.com/

Hmm.

Right, well, the truth then?

I have been drowning my sorrows with a bad drop of Tongan plonk because the trolls have been at my books again.

Troll. Def: Evil loser who spends inordinate amount of time on line, posting 1-star reviews on Amazon and drooling at used Sci-fi t-shirts on eBay.

I wouldn't mind so much if some of them had actually appeared to bother reading the books. The latest person insists the book is an 'embarressment' (sic) and another says she read only two chapters but that the book had no plot.
Right, okay then, more wine.

So, how has this affected me?

Well, to be honest, it just made me more determined to displease the trolls further. Expect The Anti-model Agency to make no concessions to these dour reviewers with no sense of humour. I am really going to give them something to complain about. Okay, there will be a brilliant plot but I promise loads of cringing, embarrassing situations for my (two!) fans.

Seriously though, a huge thank you to the thousands who have bought my books over the past few months. I love you all. Really. Well, I would if I could. I am a bit like that!

Cheers,

Nicky.

Marrying is almost here!

I must apologise for my dismal attempts at blogging. For some reason working and writing (okay, and consuming large quantities of pastries) is taking up all of my time.

Anyway, in about a week, Marrying Out of Money will be released on Kindle, and in bookstores in March or April.

Prospera Publishing is about to send the book out for review. If you are happy to upload your thoughts to Amazon then send an email to editor@prospera.co.uk and they will send you a pdf version of the book to review in the next week or so. They tell me that previous requests for book reviews will be honoured, so if you have already sent your details to Sam at Prospera, she will flick you an email to see if you want to review the book.

Given I am now totally traumatised by people who think I have ripped off Sophie Kinsella, hopefully Marrying will show me in a diffent light. Okay, the same light but without letters at the front of each chapter! (For the record, I hadn't read Shopaholic until my book was published. Who would have thought two authors would think of the same letter-writing device!)

By the way, check out this review on the Amazon US site!

http://www.amazon.com/review/R1VXWL7PBC5BYI/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R1VXWL7PBC5BYI

One word.

Gosh.

Final drafts, edits and hell

What do the above three have in common. Hmm. Not difficult, is it? They all involve time spent away from XFactor, EastEnders, donut-buying activities and any other insignificant way I can procrastinate.

Marrying Out of Money, my second novel, is due out on ebook/Kindle etc November 30th, and it is going to be a close-run thing as to whether it is ready in time.

There are so many important aspects of publicity that I am ignoring, because I am tied to my desk (before and after hours, thanks to my day job) writing, fine-tuning, and generally freaking out.

Luckily, the paperback version of the title is now scheduled for mid-2011 (phew), which does give me some time to drum up decent business, but still, we all know how important it is for authors to get out there and spread the word. Instead of spreading jam on a toastie, which is about what I am managing these days.

On a brighter note, Naked in Knightsbridge is selling well on Kindle - a nice surprise, especially since I expected loads of returns when people realised it wasn't porn. As chick-lit authors go, I am pretty sedate when it comes to bedroom antics (literally, and in an authorship sense!). I suppose too much gooey stuff bores me, so I prefer not to include it.

So that's it for now. Apologies if I am a little down-beat. Must be low blood sugar!

Best,

Nicky.

ME, MYSELF AND NICKY

So, as most of you may suspect, my true identity is hidden from the world-at-large. The reason, of course, is that should the world-at-large (read: those with little or no sense of humour) discover my serious daily persona actually hides a slightly deranged cake-eating chick-lit author, me and my reasonably large rear end will become too-well acquainted with a Jools'-style cardboard box in which to live. Well, okay, I probably won't get booted into a box, but certain people I come into contact with on a daily basis may be less than impressed with my schizo tendencies.

Having said all that, it is kind of nice living a double life, particularly as I get to admit to my hero worship of sugar without it affecting any stuffy board meetings. God, I hate those meetings. The ones where they lay out half-a-dozen tasty little morsels but every single woman in the room refuses one least she looks like a porker just released from a trough. Now, you'd think I would just tuck in, wouldn't you (given I have no self-control when it comes to pastries), but no, when I am not Nicky, I am serious, sensible, and even manage to keep the decibels on my stomach rumbles to a level only a dog could hear.

Luckily, I am becoming adapt at being Nicky for a good portion of the day now. Before work, lunch, after work. It's amazing how many cafes will let you linger over one cappuccino for hours. Well one coffee and four cupcakes, but you get the point.

So, that's it for Nicky now. Time to head back to tedium and statistics. I'll write again soon. But first, must really spend some time on Marrying Out of Money! Happy eating,

N.

Right, I know what you are going to say. What on earth have you been up to Nicky?

It’s been weeks and weeks since we’ve heard from you. Have you been arrested for indecent pastry consumption? Are you over in Greece rioting for the sheer sake of it? Has the volcanic ash cloud left you stranded in some far flung place where the breakfast buffet makes it impossible to leave the table and do any work?

Well, like all good procrastinators, I have a more probable list of reasons for my slack behaviour (okay, the breakfast buffet would actually be reasonably realistic), but as it turns out, I don’t need them, because the unthinkable has happened.
I have lost a good portion of the manuscript for Marrying Out of Money.

Yes, you heard right. Nicky Schmidt, person with limited attention span for the niceties of office work, has somehow allowed three months’ work to vanish into the ether of evil computing hell.

What? Didn’t I back it up? Yes, of course I did. I am not so donut-stuffed that I forgot to take out my trusty USB and do the right thing. Problem is, I didn’t reckon on both my laptop and USB mounting a challenge against sanity and wiping the file I had stupidly saved as a wps. What’s that? you ask. Who knows? I reply. And why was it a wps file? Again, can’t really say.

Don’t worry, those questions have been asked by the publisher’s IT guys more than once, and you know, I can’t really give a reason that doesn’t result in the techno geeks rolling their eyes in frustration. Silently, I know they think if I spent more time learning about back-ups and less eating pastries we wouldn’t be in this mess, but people, without the pastries, I couldn’t churn out my work. I need sugar to make the magic happen. Well, until about 5 pm, after which time I need sugar and wine.

So, there you have it. The best excuse ever. Shame that it is, in fact, true. So I am off to rewrite numerous chapters of my new book.

And consume about 40,000 calories. Who says comfort eating has no positive effects?
Stay sane until next time, even if I don’t.

X Nicky.