Hail readers of the Naked in Knightsbridge blog. So sorry I have been absent post-wise for the last month or so. Okay, I should have been busy writing, but the truth is I am actually quite lazy and adapt at procrastination, so over Christmas I committed to working but ended up doing nothing but socialising and eating. Now, despite the fact that I am still enjoying my daily cake fix a month later, I have now begun to work on my next book ‘Marrying out of Money’. Due to be released later this year, it is about a girl who is a little less pathetic than Jools in Naked, although I have ensured plenty of dubious character traits in other characters to keep my readers happy.

Anyway, sitting around all day eating cakes and writing is not exactly beneficial to my waistline. Whilst out shopping in my local supermarket some young guy approached me, advertising a nearby gym. He might as well have been advertising an eternity in hell with Satan and normally I try to avoid all eye contact with perky gym membership peddlers but I fell over one of my M&S foodhall bags and he was upon me.

“Do you exercise?”
“No,” I said, carefully replacing the six pack of cookies and jam and cream scones that had rolled from my stash.
“Well, maybe you should, after all, you’re a little on the tubby side, aren’t you?”
Jeez, did he expect me to agree with him? ‘Yes, I am huge, lead me to your gym.’
Instead I told him to hightail it to Satan’s parlour and leave me in peace.
“You know, pretty soon you’ll have to buy an extra seat on the plane. You don’t want that, do you?”

I was going to hit him with my M&S bags but they might have burst and that would be a waste of perfectly good food.

So, you see, we all have those days where Jool’s exploits seem so lifelike. Enough proscratination. Time to get back to working on my book.

Take care

Nicky xxx

So it’s that time of year again, when my thoughts turn to buying delicious pressies for people, and over-indulging in, well, everything really.

I got to thinking, what would I give someone as a present if I was living on the street like Jools and had to be thrifty? Let’s see. My book, obviously, but I only get a few free copies and at £7.99, buying them is not an option for someone like Jools. So for my editor, free samples from the cosmetics counter at her favourite Oxford Street store would be ideal. And maybe some ‘chic’ takeaway forks from the condiments counters at the high street cafes for Gran. After all, her sight is going anyway, poor thing.

Invited to the outlaws this year for Christmas lunch - what could I possibly take on a nil budget like Jool’s? Well, Lidl is always a great option, isn’t it. A whole litre of ice-cream for £1, or so I’ve heard … That’s only a fiver for five litres. Hmmmmm. And a few rolls of bargain toilet paper is bound to be appreciated. As with cakes, you can never have enough.

And finally, for the ultimate thrifty Christmas pressies for those nearest and dearest, I would look no further than eBay. If Jools can auction herself online, surely it would be possible to find quite a few Christmassy items for girls and dudes on a budget? A quick look just now illuminated a new artificial tree for 3 quid for the partner to put up for me, some tinsel for 1p (I better check the postage), or if you are willing to splurge you can find some for 10p; and in honour of Jools, a pair of brand spanking new flip flops with the face of a Queen (not sure which one) for a mere 50p.

How can one go wrong?

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some bids to place … oh looks like I was right £8.99 postage from Hong Kong.

Merry Christmas everyone, I’ll be back blogging in the New Year.